Thoughts on Christmas

Anda and I sat down on the couch tonight after putting the kids to bed and drank coffee together. It was one of those moments that we would have imagined creating if we were imagining the kind of moment we wanted to create in December: Christmas tree, stockings, Christmas music, warm coffee. . .

We decided to pray together and we realized that it was hard for us to enjoy the moment. During the holiday season there is almost a frustration that comes over us because we have an idealized image that we can't even quite verbalize of how Christmas is supposed to look. There is this perfect little family experience we hope to manufacture on a daily basis over a 30 day period, and things never quite measure up. We repented. We thanked God for our coffee.

We remembered our day today that we should have savored and took time to savor it even as we remembered it. Our kids had acted out the story of Christmas before bed. Isaac was laid dutifully in a laundry basket filled with moshies. Moriah made angelic proclamations between complaints of a broken halo. The innkeeper (Luke) was so hyperactive in offering the stable that Joseph asked him if he was drunk. Mary put a monkey named Sockey under her shirt to make clear that she was with child, then with great angst gave birth to that same monkey. Even as I describe it, it sounds so sweet. I did smile at Isaac in the laundry basket, but I honestly wasn't enjoying playing Alan's role as the donkey. I just wanted to finish the silly play, get our prayers finished, read the advent reading that we are 3 days behind on, and send the kids to bed.

Maybe you are all appalled at my attitude. Actually, as I reflect back on it, so am I. But I figured some of you may be dealing with the same feelings. I pray that we will savor the abundance of God, and especially that we will not get frustrated with the sense that we are missing out on something else that we should or could be doing. I keep thinking about Lee Ann's advice to not overlook the beauty of the routine, and tonight I am convicted of my sin. Today will never happen again, and I almost missed it.

I won't be able to create the perfect Christmas this year or any other year. I pray that this year God will give me grace to savor the Christmas that he gives me. I look forward to spending part of it with all of you.

Bless you all,
Randy