Hi

Hi
It's your long lost brother. I have internet access at work, but I guess the Brown Family Blog is considered high risk, so it's blocked. I read occasionally at home, but with my pregnant wife and kids to take care of, blogging has not made it onto the schedule.
Tonight, though, I will celebrate life by sending a short blog to my family in Browntown.

I would like to describe a fairly common conversation I have in my clinic (perhaps just slightly exaggerated, but not as much as you might think.)

So why are you here to see me today?

I've got pain.

Where is your pain?

Everywhere.

When did it start?

It's been awhile.

How long?

Oh, a good while.

Has it been days, months, or years?

Yeah.

Could you be a little more specific?

I been hurtin since before I started coming here.

When did you start coming here?

I been comin here for years.

Could you estimate how many years you've been coming here?

I couldn't say. You got the chart there, why don't you look?

(Scrambling through the paperwork I note the date of the first note.) So, it shows here your first appointment was 3 years ago. Is that about when your pain started?

No, it was before that.

How long before that?

Well, I guess it was about the time my son was born.

(Thinking to bypass this informational morass, I query with a back door question) So, how old is your son.

Him, oh he's about 14.

(Encouraged, I suggest) Oh, so your pain has been going on for 14 years?

No, not that long.

(Befuddled, and a bit discouraged I contest) But I thought you said it started when your son was born?

No, not that son. My other son.

(At this point, I generally give up this effort and put "years" in the note, but at times, like a hunter unwilling to set down his gun I pursue the issue in spite of the odds.) So how old is your other son?

He's seven.

So your pain has been there about seven years?

Oh, I guess not quite that long.

(Settling for "3-7 years" I move on to the next line of questioning) So what does your pain feel like?

It hurts.

What type of pain is it.

Real bad.

Generally this is where I settle for a briefer than appropriate note and move on to negotiating how many narcotic tablets are appropriate for this patient.

---- You probably think I'm kidding, but today I almost broke out laughing as I asked a lady for the 3rd time how long she had been hurting. I'm learning a lot at this job, though most of it has nothing to do with medicine.